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Our life is very different from what we expected. I would say is really challenging in every stage of life. 

When unexpected seizures come in unexpected situations, which kind of emotions we feel; shock, fear, sadness, sensitivity. 

It makes harder for us to live independently, develop new skills, communicate after epilepsy seizures which came like a storms and it’s not in our power to control it.

 Sometimes it comes in situations which we are not able to manage or control without help from people around us. Support and understanding from others means great help for us and it’s can absolutely transform our quality of life.

When your right hand tempts you to sin, cut it off.
And when the left hand tempts You to sin, cut it off.

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There comes a time in a man's life when the bravest thing he needs to do is ask for help.

To admit that he does not have enough strength to overcome his demons alone or in silence.

I can't even count the time and money my addiction to excitement and dopamine has cost me.

Long evenings and sleepless nights.

Immersed in euphoria, which after a few hours of shallow sleep before morning would turn into intense anxiety and endless feelings of regret.

I can't say when the primordial human desire for happiness turned into an endless search for the fastest and most powerful pain-relieving and void-filling solution.

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Energy flows where your attention is directed.

I couldn't even be fully present anymore.

The moments when I didn't get my dose of dopamine were only bridges to the moments when I finally found myself alone and could indulge in the pleasures invented by the dark forces as at first glance a perfect imitation of the Garden of Eden.

But it was Bacchus changing into Charon, and every such fling ended as a visit to hell.

Fortunately, not permanent and not fatal.

But time does not exist and the rebellious angels were expelled from paradise. Once and for all. No illusion will change this truth.
Gabriel defeated Lucifer.

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Everything is possible in an illusion, but there is always only one truth.
Just wake up. Open your eyes.
Darkness can never defeat light.

And all it takes is a spark, a small flame, to touch the candle, so that the darkness begins to recede.

And for that we need one small, honest decision.

Courage to admit our weakness, raise our hand, fall to our knees and cut away all the parts that never belonged to our soul.

Our true selves can finally step forward into the light.

Freedom is the courage to be who we really are. 

As a single woman, I see freedom as a space for self-discovery, developing my interests, and realizing dreams that I may have previously put off. It allows me to enjoy the little things in life, such as the ability to organize my day exactly the way I want. Being single is not only an exciting but also an empowering chapter of life for me. I wake up every morning with a feeling of freedom – I can plan my day according to my own wishes and make decisions that match my desires and needs. It is a journey of self-discovery that is right for me right now. This time allows me to fill my days with traveling, building friendships, developing creativity, and enjoying the joys of life. It is liberating to be able to spontaneously go on a weekend trip or enjoy a quiet evening with a good book. 

Of course, there are times when I imagine sharing these experiences with someone close to me. But these thoughts also remind me of the value of the independence I have carefully built for myself. I realize that my happiness does not depend on the presence of other people, but comes from within me and the life I create for myself. Being free for me means believing in myself, appreciating my own worth, and never giving up on my dreams. True freedom lies in the ability to live authentically and embrace each day with openness and curiosity. 

Every day can be beautiful, and it only depends on us how it turns out and with whom.

It was long time ago I got used to my inner world, but hardly ever connected to it, or embarrassed the moments I have spend diving into my core, as something I can enjoy, and live with in peace. I always thought it is must to live outside as that’s the real life and it is. For some reason I realise now that my inner world is also real, real to me at least. It has actually partly shaped who I am today. Being able to let it in, my self-created inner world, created harmony and partly made me feel thankful for being who I am.

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It took me long to appreciate these moments. Needed to remove doubt, fear of being awkward. Now it occasionally provides me with moments of joy and happiness, when I realise what am I capable to think of whilst being on travels wandering through my self-created inner world of thoughts and dreams. It also enables me to access depths and seeing the world whether my private or in general clearly.

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Dreaming wide awake is not prohibited anymore, not awkward. Realising, it’s not just me whom live occasionally within inner world whilst being wide awake helped.​